Long winded mama b here again, trying to decompress from a long shift from work. I've decided to take this time to share with you my lack of brain cell moments. Unfortunately, they don't not trickle down to my grammatical written skills. I will tell you now, me and run on sentences are like two peas in a pod. I've always been bad in knowing where to put the , . ; and 's. I'm a English teachers nightmare and a creative writing teachers dream. (shrugs) Hey, the way I look at it, as long as I can share with you my thought process and you can follow (somewhat) what I'm trying to say, we're good to go.
Without further ado, here we go..here are the times and experiences I have so far been a part of since being pregnant. Once again convincing myself that with every trimester comes with a withdrawal of wits or common sense thats left in my over educated brain.
1. Very recently one morning as I was driving to work. Happily singing to myself and watching for the signs for my exit. I noticed that mine was coming along and drove right past it. The sad part was I knew I was driving past it and did nothing about it. I then realized that hmmm perhaps I should have taken that exit to actually get to work on time. Cursing to myself, I got off at the next exit and hen pecked my way back to work on the back roads since getting back on the highway was not a option. YAY adventure time!
2. KFC- It was lunch time and I was pretty darn hungry. I was thinking, perhaps a bean burrito before work would be pretty darn tasty. Well I pulled into a KFC drive thru that was located right NEXT to a taco time and ordered a bean burrito. I mean after all this is KFC shouldn't they have bean burritos and extra crispy chicken at taco time? Ah...no. not quite. After being politely told by the KFC dude, who I'm quite sure was trying not to bust out laughing, that they do not sell bean burritos but only chicken. I pulled my car into reverse not embarrassed at the slightest but even now determined to get my bean burrito and headed straight into the Taco Time Drive Thru. Unfortunately at the time of ordering, fried chicken sounded really good. I just don't win!
3. Did you know that you can't exactly push your hand through a glass door? you actually have to open it? seriousily who would've thunk that.
4. Did you know that when you select a pump for gas? It actually helps to have you car at that exact pump station you just selected and not across the station thats no where near your car.
5. When walking through home depot and/or lowes it helps to either write down the exact part you need or remember the name of the part you need, instead of walking clueless around the store because you forgot the name.Let alone trying to communicate those helpful people on what you need instead of being left with the only option of 21 clues of pantomime. Fun times.
6. When bringing clothes upstairs to the bedrooms to put away. It helps to actually bring the clothes with you instead of leaving them down stairs in hopes they will actually follow you magically.
7. My dog will not answer to my goldfish name. For reasons unknown.
8. Customers really don't appreciate when you stare at them dumbfounded after they just rambled off this really long highly detailed only a nuclear scientist or a seasoned barista can only follow to only say "So what size was that ?" and clearly forgetting everything else.
9. Get stared at as if you're loca when you walk into a mexican cantina during happy hour and order virgin strawberry margaritas.
10. You need to push the on button to actually brew your coffee in the morning or to start the laundry.
11. I could go on, but this is pretty humiliating as it is.
Well there you go. Once again proving to you that pregnant women are starving insane lunatics. I love being pregnant!
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